There is external power that in my life has tried to block me from what I wanted. Back then I did not realise that I could go inwards and intend. Facing this external power block and believing many lies and being controlled left me feeling damaged and emotionally wounded and upset. True power encourages another to embrace their greatest potential and facilitate the shaping of the creative energy. Whereas external controlling fear based power is forcing another and holding them back out of a sense of control. The truth is what heaven has in store for me will come my way if I get into the right space and observe. The emotions maybe linked to distorted thoughts or they may be telling me the truth that someone is acting in a cruel way to try to hold me back. I have noticed how the times when they struggled to either understand me or control me they have projected their fears and annoyance on to me and made it be about me. “She makes it too complicated”, “she is not meeting our unrealistic expectations”, “She should do as we say”, “It’s her fault if the conditions or learning opportunities didn’t go to plan”, “It is her fault that we didn’t know certain information relevant to our job roles”, these are just some of the messages that have shaped others behaviour towards me. Anyone would think that they were totally oblivious to their part in the co-creation. All of this has shown me the distorted use of power. However, when we intend and direct energy into a certain direction we are infusing it with power, for example, my words and ideas I shared shaped many of my clients views about giving themselves a second or even third chance and knowing they could always start from where they were and make the future different in some way even it was in how they started to look after their own diet or health. So I see with power you can either inspire and invest in someone and expand them or you can work to overpower them and block them from being all they are when they are allowed to flow. I choose to be like a river that nourishes others rather than large boulders that block others out of my own fear of what others might say in response to the outcome I am worrying about.
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