When is it okay to get involved in another’s path?
This is a subject close to my heart and my discoveries have led me to ponder why we are here and who we are? I believe we chose our body, human mind, parents and life circumstances so we can gain more self awareness. In other words, to master ourselves and to experience at a sensory level all that is. I am aware that my parents and my upbringing have been retained by my mind as one model of how to handle this journey. My own growth has taught me that I can learn skills and tools to aid my journey however when and how to administer those skills and tools will depend on my authentic feelings and inner knowing/guidance. What feels right in that moment, for example, if I feel tired and you want a lift to the shops and I ignore my own needs for rest over your need to get to the shops then I am going against my own wellbeing and if I continue to do this I will end up drained.
Yet, what if the person has mental illness then should we take over? As I say above I believe we chose our body, human mind and life circumstances and therefore we knew the limitations of these choices. Therefore, I believe that the person wanted to face that challenge with these limitations and not be protected from them totally. This, questions the rightness of taking over the choices and decisions on a person’s path just because they have the limitation of mental illness. Otherwise, we are standing in their way to gaining self awareness of their choosing. Though this is not to say that we would not offer help or support if a person was critically ill, which we would do for anyone in a crisis. This is why when things get to a critical state the Mental Health Act comes into play. It is also not about not helping anyone to gain skills or knowledge. Yet, it is about questioning how we are disempowering people who are experiencing mental ill health.
Why might you get involved in another’s path? You may think you can short circuit their pain by over sharing the steps you took on your path. However, their path may look similar but it may have a very different awareness gathering wrapped up in it. Similarly, you may think that the person is incapable but this could be because they have been deskilled for many years. You may think that loving them means stopping them from suffering any pain. Yet, the truth is you are stopping them gaining awareness. You may have a misguided pattern of interfering and now it’s time to see that this is distorted. In contrast, you may get involved in another’s path because they have requested you facilitate them learning a skill or a subject to enable them to progress on their path. Another, reason is to willingly share an experience you both wish to share on your paths.
What else can you do? If you get the urge to stray on to another’s path and they are not in a crisis, or you are not in the role of facilitating them learning a skills; a subject or sharing an experience you both decided to share, then you need to sit still and question your motivations, your distorted behaviours and gain awareness to change them. It is just like a virus on a computer and it can be changed, so you stop interfering in someone else’s path and stopping them gaining self awareness rather than your awareness. I know your patterns may be familiar but it’s just like learning how to eat healthily you do it one interaction at a time. Eventually, you catch yourself sooner and begin to change this habit that serves no one.
I can recommend: The True Dynamics of Life by Mike Robinson and Wild Love by Gill Edwards
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